Mama Duck
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Monday, December 15, 2003

Guess when I took yesterday's shower?

This morning at 1:30 a.m.

posted by Mama Duck9:17 PM


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Friday, December 12, 2003

Best-laid plans

Today has been a me day. It was supposed to be a mommy and baby day. I had the day off work. Instead, though, it was the only day I could schedule an appointment with the chiropractor, for help with my hands, which have been troubling me since I began baby hefting. It was also the only day I could schedule a massage. So I dropped the baby at day care, went to one, had lunch, then the other, came home, took a nap, had a snack and am now writing this.

I had some initial guilt that this was supposed to be a day with the baby. Because The Plan of taking a day off work was to have an extra day with the baby. But then I was reminded that I made The Plan a long time ago, before I had a long draining labor and a lengthy non-recovery from it. Additionally, I did a quick mental comparison on a couple points.

Health. Baby: excellent. Me: still not recovered from birth in a couple specific, painful and annoying ways. Plus breastfeeding continues to be a challenge.

Sleep. Baby: sleeping well and multiple naps. Me: not so good. I've had random insomnia, am still having to get up sometimes for nighttime feedings and when I don't I wake from painful engorgement, plus my body temp veers wildly during the night, which also wakes me. Plus naps are almost never.

Happiness. Baby: is doing well and seems to enjoy daycare. Seems to be at least as happy, perhaps even more, than when he was home with me. Me: feeling a bit ragged running between work, home and daycare and the preparations for all.

So here I am at the end of today, which I feel I needed more to myself than the baby needed with me. And I know that eventually, and I hope that it's soon, I'll need days like this less desperately than I did today.

posted by Mama Duck1:28 PM


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Sunday, December 07, 2003

Whatever works

"Does he like to be bounced on your knee?" asked a friend as we handed the baby to him.

"Yes, but only if I hum the William Tell overture at the same time."

There was a pause as my friend waited a beat to see if I was kidding. Alas, I wasn't. Knee bouncing with humming had worked very well for me during the previous week. It not only had calmed fussing but had also garnered an occasional smile.

My friend tried knee bouncing without humming and did pretty well, demonstrating what I've come to learn only too well: there's no telling what works, until something does. And at whatever point when I feel I've finally got a good calming technique working for me, it stops working. For a while, the Boy like to be held with his head over my shoulder in a traditional cuddle hold. One day, though, this became completely unacceptable. He would only tolerate being held facing forward, his back against my chest. Woe to the very nice people who asked to hold him during these weeks and tried the "laying back in the crook of the arm" hold. That didn't work at all. Still doesn't, but he's back to tolerating the over the shoulder. That one's not working so well for me, though, since he's often crying or screaming, and the position has it right in my ear. Yowza.

Right now, he's snoozing in his Fisher-Price Ocean Wonders Aquarium Bouncer, the greatest "toy" ever invented. It's his second nap today. I put in music for him to fall asleep to. What calming music did I select, you may wonder. Mozart? Andean folk melodies? Whale music?

Nope. The Transplants. Loud, rap-py music with a parental warning advisory. Turns out the little guy likes to fall asleep to music. The faster, louder and more raucous, it seems, the better. Recent faves include the Finnish band Varttina and the frenetic Moulin Rouge soundtrack. Yes, one day he did doze off to Travis, a more likely soporific. I think that was just a fluke, though. The Boy seems to prefer a good, strong bass line. Who can blame him? Not me.

posted by Mama Duck9:33 PM


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