Mama Duck
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Motherhood

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Moving Day

The duck was a champ during moving day. He took a good nap in the morning while the movers took out the stuff from the basement and the front of the apartment. Then he played happily while they moved the rest of the stuff, and was mostly good during lunch and our subsequent clean up and the removal of those many last odds and ends. We took him to his favorite restaurant, the Convention Grill, for dinner. He had cheeseburger and fries, plus his first bites of hot fudge sundae with bananas. It was late and we got lost on the way to the hotel, but he was so happy after that sundae that it was a joy. He laughed, and grinned, and made faces, and giggled. He was so giddy it was almost like he was drunk. And when we finally did get to the hotel, he had his bath and went to sleep without event, even though it was over an hour past his usual bedtime. And then he slept for ten hours straight, with no 3 to 5 a.m. waking. What an adventurous soul.


posted by Girl Detective6:26 PM

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Friday, August 20, 2004
A year ago right now the duck and I were getting acquainted.

Happy birthday, little duckie.


posted by Girl Detective7:33 AM

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Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Mom-friendly makeup

As I've navigated nearly a year of new motherhood, I have managed to hone a morning makeup regimen that is straightforward and does what needs to be done to hide lack of sleep and potential lapses in hygiene.

Cleanse: Cetaphil.
Moisturize Face: Olay SPF 15
Moisturize Eyes: whatever eye cream is at hand--they're all the same
Moisturize Body: Vaseline something or other
Conceal: Laura Mercier Secret Concealer around eyes
Brighten: Benefit Eye Bright under lower lashes and corners of eyes
Curl Lashes; Darken: Bobbi Brown Everything mascara (I think I preferred the Thickening formula)
Blush: Nars Portofino on cheeks, nose, chin and forehead
Lips: Zum Kiss Tangerine balm or Laura Mercier Dry Rose


posted by Girl Detective8:06 PM

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Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Welcome changes


Of late, the duck has stopped fighting nap time and actually embraces it. As always, when I notice him slowing down and getting fussy, I take him into the bedroom. Now, though, he nearly leaps from my arms into the pack-n-play (his temporary bed till we move) where he snuggles and chats with his duckie and his mouton blankie for a few minutes before falling asleep.

Also, while he still is not a quiet snuggler, he has become quite good at flinging his arms around me in a convincing hug. It's quite endearing.

I'm enjoying this phase.


posted by Girl Detective9:19 AM

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Monday, August 16, 2004

We've got a house


After much anxiety, we've found a house. There is a gap of about a month after our closing before we close on the new place, but we're going to manage it with hotel, family and friends. I've written more on my other weblog,
Girl Detective about the details of the house hunt.

It's a 2-story 1917 Craftsman bungalow, in mostly good shape but in need of a new kitchen sooner than later. The duck will finally get his own room, stairs to climb up and down, a play area in the basement, plus a really cool treehouse in the backyard. My husband and I will get our own room--hooray--with his and hers closets.

Now we just have to pack and move. Ack.


posted by Mama Duck7:51 AM

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Sunday, August 15, 2004

One year check up



On Friday, a week before his birthday, the duck weighed 21 pounds 12 oz. (35-40th percentile), didn't even squirm when we measured him at 30 inches long (55-60%) and his head continues to be gigantic, in the 95th percentile.

He is meeting or exceeding nearly all of his development milestones: walking, stacking blocks, climbing up AND down, feeding himself, drinking from a sippy cup, six teeth.

He does not seem, however, to be speaking meaningfully. He says both ma ma and da da, but does not seem to match those sounds to a person. So by his next appointment, at 15 months, he's supposed to do that and have at least six words, the doc said.

I'm afraid we're failures as parents. Sigh.

Just kidding. The doc assured us not to be concerned over the weight. I can't remember him telling us not to worry about the words, though. We didn't admit that we don't play So Big or Pat a Cake. Again, failures.

The doc noted that his ears looked great, with no fluid. He would not, however, attribute this to being gone from daycare. He said it was normal during the summer for ears to clear up. This is the first time, though, that we have not been to the doc in between check-ups since the duck's first cold last November. He's had a three month stretch of good health, which I don't think can be attributed alone to the summer.

We did get the go ahead to give him cow's milk, eat all foods except honey, chokable and highly allergenic ones (peanuts, shellfish) and to turn his car seat forward. He has taken to cow's milk immediately, and I've been able to drop one more nursing session. We're down to just one a day, now--the 3-5 a.m. waking. I'm desperately hoping that when we move and the duck finally has his own room that there will be no more 3-5 a.m. waking. It's been a long, sleepless year.


posted by Mama Duck6:44 PM

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Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Can't moms just get along?


I followed a link from
Jen Weiner's blog to a thread at mothering.com. In it, moms come up with slogans that would never be found there, things endorsing Babywise, formula, crying it out, etc. I've written before about my annoyance with Mothering and its knee jerk liberalism that's heavy on judgment and light on fact. This thread of comments felt the same way. Then I followed another link to a mom who was bothered by it, and her entry had twenty comments, 18 of which slammed the mothering moms.

Two, though, did not. One pointed out that the Mothering moms are proponents of attachment parenting, a style that endorses co-sleeping, sling wearing and extended breastfeeding among other things. These parenting choices are not widely accepted, so attachment parent (or AP) moms tend to get a lot of shit, and a forum like that on Mothering would be a good, safe place to blow off steam.

A second mom said that she co-slept and wore her baby in a sling and could she still play with the other moms.

The other eighteen (and more now, I'm sure) seemed oblivious to the two.

I've tried the AP route, and it hasn't worked well for the duck, his dad, or me. I feel I'm more a mom in the middle, one who chose and was able to breastfeed but didn't co-sleep and rarely slinged. I think a lot of the 18 moms are like me: tried it and it didn't work. So to assuage guilt we could attack the AP moms, who kept it up. While the AP moms are attacking moms like us who do let the babes cry it out sometimes, or whatever else.

My one lesson, which I'm itching to shout at the next person who directly questions my mothering (unlike the old lady on the elevator today who asked the duck if he had a good walk, and felt his hands and noted that they were cold--I hadn't put a jacket on him. Hard to respond to her, since she was ostensibly talking to him. Grr.) is this: moms need help and empathy, not judgment. You have no idea what a mom has gone through: what her birth was like, what her recovery was like, how long her child screamed on a given day, how much sleep she did (or more likely, didn't) get last night. My husband makes fun of me because I used to be one of those snotty, judgmental smug marrieds without kids. Now it's payback. The duck is cute, and clever, and exhausting.

Don't get me wrong. I still judge people. But now I check myself, because I know it's way more complicated. And to have moms ganging up on moms, even on message boards and comment chains, is depressing to me. We need each other, ladies. We may not be all the same, but we're not all different either. (I thank Cecile Goyette, an editor who spoke at a writing conference I attended last year, for that fabulous phrase.)


posted by Mama Duck8:02 PM

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Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Duck data

The duck took his first solo steps while we were visiting my parents in Ohio last month. Since then, he's slowly but surely toddling a bit more every day. He is exquisitely cute; he steps with a combination of bravery and uncertainty, yet he's covering a little more ground all the time. He's also into more stuff every day. It's simple, but true. He's more fun as he grows, but more of a challenge to care for.

Friday is his one year checkup, which is a week before his birthday. Weird to think that a year ago, I was pregnant, I was working and I had no idea who this little person was who has become so central to my life.


posted by Mama Duck7:48 AM

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Tuesday, August 03, 2004

No one puts baby in the corner


Instead, we put him in a cage.

Our small condo was impossible to baby proof, so we recently bought the duck a "playzone." It is a plastic contraption--red, blue and yellow--with music and lights and toys. But let's be real. It's a cage. A large cage, since we got extensions. But a cage nonetheless.

This has helped a bit for things like bathroom trips and cooking. He is able to play by himself quite happily for chunks of time. But it has not yet resulted in me being able to write more. For that, I'm using valuable nap time.


posted by Mama Duck10:03 AM

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